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when i was a kid. i never felt good enough. never felt like i could be in the "in crowd" i felt like i always needed to be the center of attention i used to starve myself. just to fit in to be skinny and cut to get the kind of attention i'd always wanted. all i got were more people leaving me. thinking i was "emo" "gothic" just different things people dont understand and i guess you'd actually have to cut to understand it. my mother died while giving birth to me. so my dad beat me. i had fifty scars inflicting my body. they were for every fake i love you. i finally realized i needed help. i set my mind to it for about a month then it got worse. i then realized things will always get worse before they can ever get better. i was mostly the biggest teenage drama queen but better yet becoming somebody i didnt know. and it was very shamefull for me. then i started attending one of my friends churches. and found god. and confided in him. i started writing in my journal in different colors of pens. like pink if i was happy that day. blue if i was sad ect.ect. i found a way i could get away from cutting. too this day i live to tell my story; free of depression. free of rape; free of abuse; living a happy, care-free-christain life.



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kayla said:

  I LIKED HOW U WORDED THIS BUT WHAT ELSE WHOULD U SAY TO A PERSON WHO WAS PUTTING THEM SELF IN SUISIDES WAY?
May 01, 2008

P said:

  To storyteller: There are so many harsh things in this world but God will never give up on you so don't give up on yourself. For me also having God and Christians in my life has helped. Kayla: Telling someone and getting help from a trusted and qualified person was important for me still being here.
June 07, 2008

Rose said:

  wow
Its truly amazing what god can do, he hears your cries, your screams, your whispers--even when you're not saying anything. It must feel so good to be free.
Thank you for posting this
its got me thinking about stuff...
June 19, 2008

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