hello,my name is david 

i grew up watching mom get hurt alot by father and was so helpless to be of any help for her.i felt so bad for being powerless over her pain.alot of pot was smoked there and much abuse.i am only now finding out all this was even abuse.i had enuff fuel for my self injury fire...at age 14 i had start cuttuing dailly as was a skater boy.i was in such pain lack of love at home and not being able to help mom etc.so i would hurt myslef to feel better or such.i dont know or have most of the truama from child hood blocked .the feeling flood in often and afecct me to this day.i still cut some but am trying to learn how not to and to relieve the hurt in other ways .recently i was hitting bottom with si and nothing would take the pain away nothing worked anymore and tryed to commit suicide was in critacal care unit and after release tryed it again a week later.i dont have much of a war story to tell i mean i could tell some war stories about each and every even but that would take forever to type out so i am being kinda genenaric ok.will fill in the blanks soon as they come to me.one such event can scarr you for life .ya know...i have so many such events that if my whole entire story was put totype i think the rocks themselves would cry...i hope that there is hope even thru my despire and agony of living these 32 years tormentent i still want to trust .that there is real love and there is real hope and there is good poeple somewhere in this world may i find them now...

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Comments (7)

Meghan said:

Thank you for posting your story and i will pray that you will be able to overcome SI.

June 19, 2007

Rachel said:

You're very brave to be able to tell your story. Thank you. You will find good people who love you, they're out there, and some are closer than you think.

July 02, 2007

Stephanie said:

it sounds as though you are on the right track! you are exploring your feelings and what has led you to into the pit of self-injury. i myself have used S.I. for about 10 years, and i have recently been healed of this. i have learned from experiences, and learned to lean on others and God, and that there is hope out there. we have days that we feel we will never get through, and that it would be easier to give up, but then there are those days when we realize what a gift life is and how blessed we are to have it! please try plugging into God and seeking his help in how to cope in this situation. there are lots of people out there who are able to help you, if u just let them, believe me it took me years to accept it. You are a gift to this world! never forget that, you are loved and appreciated (we need to filter out th negative messages, because they are satan's lies, only used to break us down!!!!) God Bless

July 17, 2007

julia said:

Hey David. I'm very moved by your honesty and sincerity and think it's an important step in recovery from SI. It really is horrible to feel helpless isn't it? If it's any help I can say that I'm 48 and SI'd for most of my life but don't now.Please seek help when you need it. Whether it be counselling or a crisis line or a friend. You are here for a very important reason.

August 03, 2007

Pauline said:

GOOD FOR YOU FOR BEING SO HONEST. THERE IS HELP OUT THERE. HOPE YOU CAN FIND PEOPLE MAYBE A GOOD COUNSELLOR TO TALK TO.

August 03, 2007

anonymous person who cares said:

Wondering how you are? Let us know if you feel like it. Hope you are oK. I hope you find loving and trustworthy people. Tonight I will pray that this happens for you.

October 01, 2007

Brandi said:

hello david, well, most of your story applies to my life like the part about you mother being hurt by your father thats happened to my mother and yeah it was really hard seeing that but my father has changed , and i hope your father has changed aslo . I will pray for you . good-bye and good-night

January 15, 2008

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