Hey, this is Klea the one that u CANT NOT FORGET HER NAME! Ha. How r u?? I would like to share my story with you. first thing I am dyslexic and have a very hard time with spelling so work with me plz I can take it slow for u because I understand that u have a lot people that want to share with u then me so I would like to be ur friend and be slow this is a short story and I wel tell more later but this is explanin my story in 5 min lol

My story…

My name is Klea. I am the youngest of 4 children and I grew up in a non Christian home. My parents were divorced when I was 4 years old at witch I time I lived with my mother.

My father is an alcoholic and my mother has problems around gambling.

My oldest sister is very depressed I think? she can’t stop saying she is sick and sleepy and she has a headache she sits on her computer all day living off social services and never leaves her house in moose Jaw she want me to do it for her find her smoke and food she dose not have a job she had one job in her life last year and she is 27 years old but she said that the job at superstore was to hard for her I wish I could help her. Also she was a cutter for maybe 13 years and is doing well with that now.

My other sister is a slut but the only one in the family that they say is together in her head she is not depressed, she can spell has a job but loves sex. She lives in Victoria BC with my father, as of this year.

My brother is depressed not working but love a girl and hates our family. He lives in Regina Sk

When I lived with my mother she had several different boyfriends who treated her very poorly. At a very early age I witness the abuse of my mother. She just kept letting them back.

My mother allowed me to get away with everything I stole a lot because I never ate very well because she gambles it off and so at the age of 10 I went to live with my father he was working full time at that time. He lost his nursing job caz he got on house arrest for underage porn on our computer then work found out and he got accused of kissing a 92 year old lady but he’s gay that funny I know he didn’t.

My father had his own big problems. The things I witnessed caused me confusion. The sexual things and alcohol abuse that my father allowed to rule his life caused me to wonder if I had and value and if there was any purpose for living.

I became a chronic liar, I stole I began to cut and fight depression. I was headed in the wrong direction.

At the age of 11 I desperately needed a place to belong and some people to love me so I lied about my age to get into Joe’s Place.

When I first went there I was the kid that would sit in the corner I didn’t get involved, but I knew that Joe’s Place was the place I needed to be. I dating more like molested again but the longer I stayed the more I Developed friends that loved god, these friends had a great influence on me. This is when I started to open up and trust people.

Getting to know god has be a process for me. How can god love me if I don’t even love myself? Thought Bible studies with Joe’s Place, attending youth quake, and friends who have encouraged me in my walk with god, I know god loves me even though I’ve experienced a very difficult life. I am a believer now and love god a lot but I still have thing in my life.

I have been cutting going on 6 years and I need to stop I need a lot of help on it I have been trying to find things to do but I just can’t get it out I started piercing I have like 9 pricings and I love poking a needles in me but its still is self injury I am at the stage that when I cut I ask myself why do I do that and I know it is addiction but it feels so good at the time for about 20 mins then I just hate myself people still treat me bad in school and it hurts me and just gives me another day to cut I hate this you know… all I do is sit there with blood dripping off my arms, legs and belly and to the floor with taper towel all around me just one more cut just one more every time. It’s like crying to me just drop after drop. In 6 years I have been on this cycle I am so close to the top to starting the cycle again one day at a time I say I hate myself but I can’t cut, NO cutting.

Well this YQ is the one year that I have believed in god and Saturdays of this YQ is the one year that I have been out of my house I miss my daddy we lived in Moose Jaw just me and him then every second weekend mostly “Klea get the hell out of my house” every time he was drunk and hating me “Get out” well finally I just left to some people in caronport my mom would not take me she lives in Moose Jaw still today and she doesn’t want me caz she can’t afford me just gambling and her husband. My daddy just moved to Vitoria BC It is the hardest time of my life I love him so mush he said “I’m leaving because I know when I am know longer needed” SHIT DADDY I AM 16 I NEED U!! The schooling I need is here so I can’t leave to live with him and social services told me that I can’t move back to my daddy’s Intel he STOPS drinking so really he took drink over his 16 year old daughter.

My father is diabetic, smoker, pill popper, alcoholic, gay, 52, no job, arthritic, asthma, allergic to like everything, cataracts in both eyes, deaf in one ear and my daddy is dieing he is so sick plz pray for him. I want him to move back! =(

For three weeks I was trying to fight with a rap I was 14 and he was 36 years old raped me I was kicked out of my house know were to go so this guy said I could stay there I said ok I was high and sick he had sex with me for about 1 hour or more strait I never lots my virginity by then so I didn’t do anything about it because I saw that he had a son and I know what it like to loose a father so I went there about a week ago and asked him to go for coffee and got him to admit to me that he did something wrong so I didn’t blame myself and hate myself plz pray for him to.

Ok that is my short story I can tell more again plz mail me back caz I am going to stop cutting and I want to talk to u about it.

Jesus is teaching me that he wants to clean me from the inside. He is teaching me that his love in unconditional, he loves me no matter what. He is teaching me about new beginnings and about healing. I really want a new beginning; I want the garbage from the past to be removed. I want my life to be different, I want to make good choices and be closer to god, and I want to love myself.

Thanx Byez

Klea