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When I finally was ready to stop running from the pain and endure the discomfort and grief that is a part of healing the right people were brought into my path. I am free of alcohol/pills, cutting and eating disorders and most of all for the first time in my life I am grateful for my life and thank God that I am here no matter what is happening.
Hi. I am not a young person anymore. I have struggled with all forms of self injury since my teens. There was not the same kind of awareness around these things as there are today which is why I think it has taken longer. I was on this site awhile ago but had to take some time out as stuff got too much and I was coming out all over the place. I just wasnot ready to feel the pain that recovery sometimes requires. I am doing that now. When I finally was ready to stop running from the pain and endure the discomfort and grief that is a part of healing the right people were brought into my path. I am free of alcohol/pills, cutting and eating disorders and most of all for the first time in my life I am grateful for my life and thank God that I am here no matter what is happening. There is a saying that when the student is ready the teacher appears. That is what has happened for me. My present mentor is helping me learn the things I should have learned as a kid but had no one to teach me. I am learning how to use my emotions as indicators of a problem or concern but leave the decision making to the logical part of my brain. I see now when I make decisions from my emotions it is just bad:) I am learning how to set boundaries not just information about them. The first thing he had me do was set up a safety net which is one or two activities I would do when the urges would overwhelm. Just two-I found a list of choices to much to deal with when I was freaking out. So I clean or play my guitar. Anyhow, I don't know why God has persisted with me but I am starting to believe it is for something good. Blessings to you all. I am inspired by your courage. Oh ya-this week I did a Bible study that encouraged me to want to become a victor rather than a victim. Later, in prayer God let me know that I already am a victor (Look at all you survived, he said). He gently let me know that all I had to do was recognize that I was ALREADY a victor. P
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